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The Chorus marches away. Blepyrus appears in the doorway of his house, wearing Praxagora's Persian sandals and saffron robe.
Blepyrus
What does this mean? My wife has vanished! it is nearly daybreak and she does not return! I had to take a crap! I woke up and hunted in the darkness for my shoes [315] and my cloak; but grope where I would, I couldn't find them. Meanwhile Mr. O'Shit was already knocking on the door and I had only just time to seize my wife's little mantle and her Persian slippers. [320] But where shall I find a place where I can take a crap? Bah! One place is as good as another at night-time; no one will see me. Ah! what a damned fool I was to take a wife at my age, and how I could thrash myself for having acted so stupidly! [325] It's certainty she's not gone out for any honest purpose. But the thing to do now is to take a crap. He squats.
A Man
Looking out of the window of the house next door.
Who's that? Is that not my neighbor Blepyrus? Why, yes, it's no other. Tell me, what's all that yellow about you? Can it be [330] Cinesias who has befouled you so? Blepyrus
No, no, I only slipped on my wife's tunic to come out in. Man
And where is your cloak? Blepyrus
I cannot tell you; I hunted for it vainly on the bed. Man
[335] And why did you not ask your wife for it? Blepyrus
Ah! why indeed! because she is not in the house; she has run away, and I greatly fear that she may be doing me an ill turn. Man
But, by Poseidon, it's the same [340] with myself. My wife has disappeared with my cloak, and what is still worse, with my shoes as well; I cannot find them anywhere. Blepyrus
Nor can I my [345] Laconian ones; but as I urgently needed to crap, I popped my feet into these slippers, so as not to soil my blanket, which is brand new. Man
What does it mean? Can some friend have invited her to a feast? Blepyrus
I expect so, [350] for she does not generally misconduct herself, as far as I know. Man
What are you doing, making well-ropes? Are you never going to be done? As for myself, I would like to go to the Assembly, and it is time to start, but I've got to find my cloak; I have only one.
Aristophanes. Ecclesiazusae. The Complete Greek Drama, vol. 2. Eugene O'Neill, Jr. New York. Random House. 1938.
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